For Andy
On the eve of the strawberry moon
the wind blows softly
but consistently
from all sides
like a hug from beyond.
You left this Earth without telling me.
I found out months later
Googling your name because you never responded to my email
about how I gave birth.
The obituary made my bedroom spin
my baby and I
the way shock makes one aware
we're all here rotating.
But what about you?
Was that you in the wind today
with me in my heartbreak?
So I must have given birth after you passed.
After the contractions had me scrunched
and hyper-focused on how the meat looked
at a Korean barbecue party.
But what about the hospital television?
How it flickered on and off
somewhere in the 14th hour.
Was that you in the corner
with me in my fear?